Kids and Bad Days

I wasn't looking forward to this.... the bad day.....

It really can come at almost any time.

I think I have narrowed down the three types of bad days.... the ones that you bring on yourself, the ones that happen to you, and the ones that involve someone else.

1- The ones that are brought on yourself are ones that include misbehavior, and well.... stupidity.

We have had a couple of these. There was talking in class. It kills my kids.... they are talkers! {they are their mother's child...} They are learning. But we have had bad days because of things that they have done. So far nothing to bad other than normal little kid stuff but I still like to try to end it quickly. We have talked about being respectful to teachers, and listening to others that are in charge. We have talked about attitude and how to not rub people the wrong way, and about proper tone in a voice when talking to people who are in charge. A reminder that chairs are for sitting and not for jumping off of, and running down the hall yelling "The muggles are coming" is not appropriate. So far things have been small and only a little reprimanding has been needed. I hope that is as far as it goes.

2-Then you have the one that happen to you.... You dropped your sandwich on the floor, you were running and tripped and everyone saw, you studied so hard and still didn't do well on a test.

These ones are a little harder. There really isn't anything you can change. More than just 'pay more attention.' For the boys I try to be a sounding board. There really isn't anything that needs to be fixed, they just need someone to listen to them, and be on their side. So I sit and I listen. I offer an opinion or suggestion when asked, and I usually try to follow these with a treat. On days like this I'm pretty sure a chocolate cookie will fix everything. If not I turn up the music and we have a dance party. That really is one way to get the boys to smile and laugh!

3-Then the hard one. The ones that involve someone else. With someone else being mean to your child.

So far we haven't had anything like this happen. So far the boys are making friends and loving school. But I worry for this day. I'm sure the Mama Bear in me will want to hunt the kid down that hurt my child and fix the problem. But well... So again.... I think the best thing is being there to listen. Listen and to be on your child's side. Ask them what should be done and take their lead. Give them ways to feel empowered. Let them know they are loved. {and point out people who are not directly in the family who love them.... because we all know that "my brothers are suppose to love me"} Check in often. I feel sometimes as a parent I want to fix what ever problem is going on and get past that. But I am learning that I need to step back and let the boys talk through the problem they are having and let them come up with solutions.  Sometimes when they say something I will repeat back to them what they have said and I get the look as "well that's clearly not going to work" {usually it involves a sword and some ninja skills they don't have} and then they are able to think it through again rationally. Kids need to know that no matter what they have a someone to be on their side.

Bad days are going to happen. It happens to everyone, and sadly some kids think it is the end of the world. It is our job to help them know that it's normal and that tomorrow will be a new day. We need to help them learn from the bad days and to take control to make better ones.

What are some ways you handle bad days?

Disclaimer:
Now please remember that my boys are young and do not have access to social media and right now their problems are small ones that are easy to work out. If your child is having a problem with bullies either in real life or online, go with your gut. You know what is best for your child, and while we may want to see them handle their own problems sometimes they get out of hand to quickly. Involve the police if necessary and even if it makes you and your child "uncool" never apologies for keeping your child safe!!